Is there something someone wants to tell me????

In the past two days I have received 4 pieces of mail that are downright disturbing. One was from Gerber Life offering me life insurance for my unborn baby (!!!!!). The second was an American Baby packet offering coupons "especially for mothers"....the third was a $4.00 coupon from Enfamil. And then today I got a letter from my insurance carrier letting me know about important insurance information in our plan regarding mothers and newborns. What the heck, people?!?!?!??!? I already have 3 children which on a good day is 3 too many. I am not pregnant, I do not plan on becoming pregnant and am FLUMMOXED as to how I got on someone's list of "Little Ladies in a Family Way". I mean, c'mon, I threaten my children with the Bill Cosby quote, "I brought you into this world and I can take you right back out" on a weekly basis. Except I add my own little twist..."I can make another one just as cute or cuter than you....don't want to...but I CAN...and don't make me prove it!!" I'm the type of mom who looks forward to my children's scores of analyst's bills that are SURE to come my way (oh please, I've worked SO hard) so I can frame them. I will then invite total strangers in to say, "See that??? I did that!!!"
SO, where are these companies getting this erroneous information?!?!? Somebody better 'fess up.
I'm thinking it's time to have a chat with my doctor....

Where is she going to college? Well.........

I'm finding that the logical progression of conversations between parents of 17-18 year old children is:

1.) How does she like high school?

2.) Does she know what she wants to major in?

3.) Where is she going to college?

Those of you close to us know that our oldest daughter BEGGED to be home-schooled at the start of her junior year of high school.  This was NOT my choice, trust me.  I have to admit there was part of me that thought, "You're at (what's considered) the best public high school in the state and you want to be home-schooled?!?!"  Our eldest is not what anyone would consider a "typical" teenager.  She eschews fads and trends.  She's wanted to be a scientist since she was 8.  And she's always been "old".  I say this with pride, mind you.  She's just one of those old souls that has been around a long time and I'm a bit jealous.  She's self-motivated and, in our experience, "traditional" schooling does not meet the needs of children like her. This character trait of hers has led her to learn Finnish, how to play the accordion, banjo, and ukulele, the art of kirigami and origami, knitting, and apiculture (beekeeping).  She is currently the beekeeper for a local food bank that has its own farm and fish facility.  She is also heavily involved in another local organic farm that grows its own fish as well. She is well-versed in hydroponics, aquaculture and soil science. Most people, upon meeting her, assume she's in her 3rd year of college already.

So when the inevitable question regarding college comes up, I get tired.  Tired because I'm so done with EVERYONE assuming that the next "logical" step for ALL high school seniors is college.  I won't bother to regale you with the impressive list of HUGELY successful people who did NOT finish college (Google it). Instead, I'd like to ask why I would insist that the same child, who was miserable while in a traditional school, be 'thrown under the bus' and return to that same setting?  I'd also ask why when a 40-80 year person laments that they didn't finish college, everyone says, "It's never too late!". But if a 17 year old wants to go a different route all I get are looks of panic that perhaps I'm a lame parent and the person is making mental notes to keep THEIR high school age children far away from me lest I corrupt their minds.  I also get the 'pity' looks, like "Oh, her child's too lazy/dumb/poor to get into any college."  None of these could be farther from the truth. She is prompt, fastidious, courteous and eager to learn. I have a child that is already proving herself as a worthy colleague amongst others in her chosen fields of study. While other girls are worrying about what to wear to prom or which boy in Art Class is cuter, mine is acquiring a 'hands on' education on a daily basis...for free. How many other 17 year-old children can have that said about them? 

The next time you get the urge to ask someone about their child's life choices...be prepared for their answers to not mesh with yours.  And you know what?  It's ok.

Please know that I'm sorry I didn't try harder...

In 2007, a friend came to me and asked if I would help her with a bullying problem that her daughter was having. I readily agreed because problem-solving is what I love to do. Little did I know that taking on this problem would open my eyes to so many other children having similar problems. And little did I know that I would lose friends and be considered a "troublemaker" or "whistle blower" by standing up for the victims. I did my research, collected statements and letters, contacted the right bureaucrats, held the appropriate meetings, and recorded all the information. Then we waited....and waited and nothing happened. We were told there was nothing we could do..."It's out of your hands"..."You have to let the officials do what they do"...."There's really not enough to go on"...."We're sorry"...and (my personal fave) "It's inappropriate for you to share this information".

Now, six years later, the problem has come up again and this time it's worse. This time it's more than bullying and I am sick. Sick because I didn't continue to pursue it even when I was told that it would handle itself. Sick that I didn't have time to make sure that we were heard. And sick that we were lied to and treated like children. I only fought for a little while and then I gave up because no one was around to help fight anymore. No more parents came forward with stories about their children being bullied. I did what I could to discourage people from being near the bully but I couldn't be the "squeaky wheel" anymore if someone oiled the mechanism. Over time, I assumed that things had changed and that someone had gotten help for the bully...I was wrong. The worst part was having to look my daughter in the eye and say, "I don't know why that person is still around here...maybe the people don't care."

The bully learned that the system was broken and became more brazen. The system that was supposed to be there for the children only managed to help the bully. The system that we were promised would handle it has failed. And I am so very sorry that I didn't try harder.