In 2007, a friend came to me and asked if I would help her with a bullying problem that her daughter was having. I readily agreed because problem-solving is what I love to do. Little did I know that taking on this problem would open my eyes to so many other children having similar problems. And little did I know that I would lose friends and be considered a "troublemaker" or "whistle blower" by standing up for the victims. I did my research, collected statements and letters, contacted the right bureaucrats, held the appropriate meetings, and recorded all the information. Then we waited....and waited and nothing happened. We were told there was nothing we could do..."It's out of your hands"..."You have to let the officials do what they do"...."There's really not enough to go on"...."We're sorry"...and (my personal fave) "It's inappropriate for you to share this information".
Now, six years later, the problem has come up again and this time it's worse. This time it's more than bullying and I am sick. Sick because I didn't continue to pursue it even when I was told that it would handle itself. Sick that I didn't have time to make sure that we were heard. And sick that we were lied to and treated like children. I only fought for a little while and then I gave up because no one was around to help fight anymore. No more parents came forward with stories about their children being bullied. I did what I could to discourage people from being near the bully but I couldn't be the "squeaky wheel" anymore if someone oiled the mechanism. Over time, I assumed that things had changed and that someone had gotten help for the bully...I was wrong. The worst part was having to look my daughter in the eye and say, "I don't know why that person is still around here...maybe the people don't care."
The bully learned that the system was broken and became more brazen. The system that was supposed to be there for the children only managed to help the bully. The system that we were promised would handle it has failed. And I am so very sorry that I didn't try harder.
